[Theory] To Ply or Not To Ply

…That is the question!

Have you noticed how 2-ply toilet paper these days seems to be pretending it is 3-ply?

I’ve tried a few (but not a lot), and each brand seems to do the same. It is virtually impossible to begin unravelling just two plies (is that the correct plural?).
Instead, one ply is slightly longer and stuck to the end of the double-ply at the ‘beginning point’.

Therefore, one always begins by unravelling three plies instead of two.


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Picture the scene: Sunday morning -enjoying a dozy rest in the comfort of my own bed, while the children play and fight noisily with each other downstairs, I casually look up to the light straining through the window.

Who do I see there, peering through his camera lens?
Why, it’s only the greatest film director of all time (in my opinion), Mr. Stanley Kubrick himself!


THING -I hung my monitor

I was in PCWorld today and found a bracket that would allow me hang a monitor on my wall. 30euros. I would’ve been happy to pay 20, but I somehow managed to grit a smile as I handed over the full whack.

Anyway, to make a short story only slightly shorter, I came home and eagerly dug out my trusty toolbox, drill and meter-level.
Because the full bracket was in two parts and would be entirely behind the monitor, I had to take some measurements on the height of the bracket in relation to the height of the monitor itself.
Carefully I measured from the top of the monitor to the top of where the bracket was going. Then I measured the same distance on the wall and made two small markings (I used a felt-tip as I couldn’t find my pencil) and proceeded to drill. …Yes I used the level-meter to keep it straight!

Monitor placed! A perfect job well done! Not a bother!

…Except it was too high. Just by an inch or so.
I removed the screws & rawl plugs, placed the bracket lower, re-set the monitor and sat down to examine.
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THEORY -Full Irish Breakfast

Is it a coincidence that sausages are phallic-shaped? I think not. Why were chunks of pig-meat made into these penis-sized edible pieces in the first place? No part of a pig resembles these items and when cut from the pig they need to be processed into this size and shape. So why go to all that length (for some) when it is an artificial presentation of meat? No other popular meat-product is disguised in quite the same fashion.

Why? Isn’t it obvious? Of course we all (subconsciously) know sausages are the shape they are so they can fit-in properly on the traditional breakfast plate which is obviously a representation of sexual intercourse.

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