I’m a user

I’ve never been so much as tempted, let me say that up-front. For years my friends have pressured and taunted me. At times I stuck out like a sore thumb at parties, the only one not at it.

But as of today, July 14th 2009, for the first time in my life, I am a mobile phone user.

Why not before now?

Being something of a technophile, nobody could understand how come I never had a phone. To be honest it’s not something I’ve put a lot of thought into. I enjoyed not being contactable. When I was out I was out. See you when I get there.

For the past few years people have been growing increasingly angry at me, calling me selfish (for not owning a phone!), attacking me with some bizarre “what if” scenarios.

What if your child gets sick and we can’t find you?
What if your car breaks down in the middle of the road?
What if one of us is late?
What if a one-legged pirate takes a swing at you in a lonely field with his wooden peg!?

The world has forgotten what it means to be unconnected to The Collective. We are One.


I was renting a tuxedo for a wedding one time when the assistant asked for my phone number for the files. I gave her my home number and she tapped it into the computer. Then she asked for my mobile. I told her I didn’t have any. She looked at me a-gasp, seemingly unable to comprehend this strange mix of individually-familiar words.
“I need a mobile number for the system!” she cried in a panic.

“Oh right,” says I being helpful, “you can put the same number in again for that.”

Strangely she didn’t find this helpful. Suddenly I was public enemy number 1.

Do we really need to give such details to rent a suit in this day and age??


So why now?

Let me first say, I’m still not crazy about the idea of joining “The One”. I still like that independent, wild motor-biker, wind-in-my-hair, carefree and happy feel of not owning a mobile phone.
But I do like technology. And for the first time I feel technology has caught up with my needs.

Initially I was looking for an MP3 player that was bigger than my trusty 20GB iriver. For the past couple of years I’ve had to delete albums to fit new ones in. I hate that. So I wanted 30GB+ for that.

Also, my old horse-sized digital camera was weighing me down whenever I took it out (which was rare enough -and only when I knew I’d want it).

I thought “if I had a suitable mp3 player + ‘good enough’ camera in one device that would do me”.

So what better way to have that than in a phone? The fact that these would be in a phone would mean I’d be less inclined to forget them.

Then all at once I glanced across a crowded room and my eyes met this and time stopped:

Isn’t she beautiful? She’s the Nokia N97 and fulfills all my needs.

Actually, I haven’t possessed her yet, but this little angel is winging her way to me as I type. And she will be black, not silver. And I’m aware of her shortcomings thankyouverymuch so let’s not get into a slagging match. She’s good for me. She’s the best for me.

I could go on to list more features and describe why I prefer this to any other, but this is a confession not an advert.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.