** TIME-UP COMPO LOCKED **
.
Hello all, I am KAPTIONGOD!
THIS IS A TRIAL CAPTION-RUN to see if we can handle a weekly caption competition from here.
Monthly Archives: March 2007
THING -STANLEY KUBRICK IN MY CURTAINS!
Picture the scene: Sunday morning -enjoying a dozy rest in the comfort of my own bed, while the children play and fight noisily with each other downstairs, I casually look up to the light straining through the window.
Who do I see there, peering through his camera lens?
Why, it’s only the greatest film director of all time (in my opinion), Mr. Stanley Kubrick himself!
THING -Gas Queries
A couple of years ago I went for a gastroscopy. Or was that a gastrectomy? …The one where they place a camera up yer bum, looking for the scenic route to Uranus. That one. I won’t go in to details, but I’ll just say that thankfully I got the all-clear afterwards. Anyway, I thought I’d share a little non-medical moment from that day…
Continue reading THING -Gas Queries
THEORY -Why the movie Brazil is called Brazil
.
Terry Gilliam’s BRAZIL might divide the opinion of viewers, but just why is it called BRAZIL?
.
Continue reading THEORY -Why the movie Brazil is called Brazil
THING -I hung my monitor
I was in PCWorld today and found a bracket that would allow me hang a monitor on my wall. 30euros. I would’ve been happy to pay 20, but I somehow managed to grit a smile as I handed over the full whack.
Anyway, to make a short story only slightly shorter, I came home and eagerly dug out my trusty toolbox, drill and meter-level.
Because the full bracket was in two parts and would be entirely behind the monitor, I had to take some measurements on the height of the bracket in relation to the height of the monitor itself.
Carefully I measured from the top of the monitor to the top of where the bracket was going. Then I measured the same distance on the wall and made two small markings (I used a felt-tip as I couldn’t find my pencil) and proceeded to drill. …Yes I used the level-meter to keep it straight!
Monitor placed! A perfect job well done! Not a bother!
…Except it was too high. Just by an inch or so.
I removed the screws & rawl plugs, placed the bracket lower, re-set the monitor and sat down to examine.
Continue reading THING -I hung my monitor
THEORY -Full Irish Breakfast
Is it a coincidence that sausages are phallic-shaped? I think not. Why were chunks of pig-meat made into these penis-sized edible pieces in the first place? No part of a pig resembles these items and when cut from the pig they need to be processed into this size and shape. So why go to all that length (for some) when it is an artificial presentation of meat? No other popular meat-product is disguised in quite the same fashion.
Why? Isn’t it obvious? Of course we all (subconsciously) know sausages are the shape they are so they can fit-in properly on the traditional breakfast plate which is obviously a representation of sexual intercourse.
THEORY -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ..more than meets the eye
.
The movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang contains many unanswered questions (and I am talking here of the movie itself with screenplay by Roald Dahl- not the vaguely-related book by Ian Fleming, nor the more recent stage show), namely
.
1. Why is the land of Vulgaria ruled over by a “Baron” of all things?
.
2. Why are children banished from the land?
.
3. Why is there a thinly-veiled sadomasochistic scene between the Baron and his wife where he tries to kill her while professing his love while she is prancing around in sexy lingerie?
.
4. Does she know he is trying to kill her and if so, why does she never acknowledge it?
.
Continue reading THEORY -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ..more than meets the eye
THING -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang -an in-depth look #1
“It’s just a kids’ movie,” I hear all the time. “Not worthy of analysis.”
Are only so-called serious films worthy of closer looks? Are funny things less worthy? Is less thought put in to making funny and ‘child-friendly’ films?
.
If so, things weren’t always this way, you know. Let’s take a closer look at Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to allow me to explain precisely what I mean (and also to somewhat-validate the theory I mentioned around here someplace).
.
Continue reading THING -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang -an in-depth look #1
THING -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang …an in-depth look #2
Here we continue to examine just what is so great about this film.
If you haven’t already, read from the start.
.
Continue reading THING -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang …an in-depth look #2
THING -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang …an in-depth look #3
.
Here we continue to examine just what is so great about this film.
If you haven’t already, read from the start.
.
Continue reading THING -Chitty Chitty Bang Bang …an in-depth look #3