All posts by StanleyRumm

A Digression, Books, Film, Happiness, THEORY

Unknown Knowns

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“There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know. So when we do the best we can and we pull all this information together, and we then say well that’s basically what we see as the situation, that is really only the known knowns and the known unknowns. And each year, we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns.” -Donald Rumsfeld, 2002.

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I believe Rummy missed one: The unknown knowns.
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In fact, I believe most popular movies/ books/ anything else misses this too. It is a highly underrated knowledge.
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The unknown knowns are those things you know, but aren’t aware you know. They could be things you take for granted or something right under your nose that you never knew you knew about -for example you might “know” something to be true, but never actually think about it (and so not know you know) until perhaps someone else mentions it.

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“She’s pregnant!” …only after you hear it do you realise that you somehow “knew” all along.
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Similarly, the best comedy is often to be had from these unknown knowns -everyday life events we already know about, but weren’t aware we knew or did. When they are held up in front of our eyes, perhaps through a skewed lens, we have to laugh because we recognise what we already knew, but somehow didn’t know we knew.

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Why do I say this is missed by most books and movies nowadays?

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Well, in my opinion the best “works of art” are almost indescribable, yet speak sometimes in a personal nature directly to the reader/ viewer. It’s not something that can be described in the blurb in the back of the book, so it’s not easily marketable, so it’s unappreciated.
Or under-appreciated at least.

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Maybe the book/ movie hasn’t even broached a topic, but yet puts a certain thought in your head or leaves you with a mood that is familiar and yet new. These are the greatest.

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I’ve often turned the last page of a book I really enjoyed and half an hour later could barely remember any of it. To me, that makes the book almost a complete waste of time.

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On the other hand, the best books can often be harder to get into -they need some work by us readers, to place ourselves in the right frame of mind to appreciate “the full show”. But as the last page is turned, we are left floating for a long time afterward. Maybe with much to think about or just to appreciate the mood.

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The unknown knowns can also lead one to that “ah yes of course!” moment, as when you suddenly realise “AAHHH So *THIS* is where it’s all going! -I didn’t know that, but now that I know I know it, I knew it all along!”


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The unknown knowns are the best of all knowns and unknowns because they take the least effort with the greatest reward (or at least the groundwork has already been done, maybe subconsciously).

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NOW… The next time you find a forgotten tenner in your back-pocket you will hold it aloft and declare with joy: “The unknown known!”  🙂

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Jim Emerson has a good discussion on Rumsfeld’s points here.

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fish, Simple Solution, THING

Simple Solutions #5: BP Oil Pipe Leak Fix

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THE PROBLEM: A BP oil pipe is spewing oil now for how long? Months? Why can’t it be stopped?

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THE SOLUTION: Shove a cork in it.

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No really. I know it’s a mile underwater, but if they can send an unmanned rocket to Mars and get the coordinates right to such an amazing degree I dare say someone could do the equivalent of sticking a cork on the end of a hanger and shoving it through an open bottle at the bottom of a well.

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It may take a few efforts. Oil is gushing out after all. But the ‘cork’ could be more like a needle/ syringe, so once the pointy bit gets in there, the rest could be pushed from one end and dragged from the other.

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Like this:

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The “cork” can have a camera on the end of it for guidance.

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Better yet, why not have an unmanned sub type device that dives into the hole, plugging it?

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Failing that, how about a fat kamikaze underwater pilot?

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Obviously that last one might not be the best option, but I fail to see what’s so far fetched about the others. I mean, are they even trying??

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A Digression, Simple Solution

Simple Solutions #4: Internet Access For All

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In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.

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Most people pay for always-on internet access at home, but when “on the go” it is not always easy to access the internet without incurring silly charges. OK, you can buy more internet access as part of your mobile phone package deal, but chances are even that is silly money -and anyway, you only want to check your emails/ have a quick browse to check the price on a TV online before you purchase locally (or not).

Why should you pay more than once for “always on” internet access?

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THE PROBLEM: Mobile internet access is too expensive, but if I want it “on the go” -even in short bursts- I gotta pay even though I already pay for home broadband.

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THE SOLUTION: Allow outside access to your wi-fi.

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OK, like yourself (if you have a passing knowledge of such things), I see obvious reasons not to do such a thing: security and bandwidth. Let’s deal with these individually:

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1. Security.

“Someone might pass by my window, detect my wi-fi, log on and compromise my entire network -delete files and take my identity!”

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Worst case scenario, this is true -a valid fear.

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However, there are ways and means to allow people to access the internet without allowing access to your internal network -it’s just nobody (that I know of) has built such an option into router firmware because …well… “who would want freeloading strangers hogging their bandwidth?”

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2. Bandwidth.

Many ISPs have a bandwidth cap. Others do not. Most people use a tiny percentage of their bandwidth potential. If the water is running freely anyway isn’t it a little selfish to not allow a thirsty passerby take a drink?

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Again, there are ways and means to monitor bandwidth usage and to disconnect greedy freeloaders. This could all be automated so it’s not like you’d even have to know -again you just need the right firmware for your router …firmware that hasn’t been written yet, possibly.

This firmware could allow a certain bandwidth ‘leakage’ per day and for any single user to use, say no more than 1% of that leakage.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: …Actually I think this one would/ will be adopted once people get their heads around it and router firmware developers start building in these options.

(Alright, I freely admit there may be just such a massive movement already in operation -I haven’t done any homework on it, but I’m just saying it would be a ‘neat idea’… Also I freely admit to having no technical knowledge of such matters… it’s possible two routers would be required for security -even still, some of us would do it I’m sure -enough to set the trend!)

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So why open your wi-fi?

Stick it to the man. You don’t like double-paying. You already pay for more than you use anyway. Why pay “the man” just because you want it in another format too? It’s like buying a CD and having to pay again for an MP3.

Make what you don’t use available to others and they might do likewise. Soon everyone can access their emails/ do a quick browse/ Tweet/ etc. everywhere -including you.

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Even if it’s a long time before you find others doing it, I know all of us dream of being Robin Hood -that’s why it’s such an everlasting story. Now you too can be Robin Hood without even leaving your home!

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So, maybe you can’t do it right now, but if enough people have a wish to do something like this, then someone somewhere will make it happen (I know Google intend to make such a thing a reality anyway, so all of this could be unnecessary in time -that would make me very happy believe me).

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Gardening, Happiness, Kids, Kitchen, THING

Flower Pot Dessert

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OK, it wasn’t my idea. I saw it on another website ages ago and was planning on doing it ever since. I should really link to there, but I’ve searched and haven’t found the exact one (there are other similar ones though)

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Anyway, what is this all about I hear you cry…

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Flower Pot Dessert!

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Ingredients

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1 x pot
1 x straw
Sponge/ madeira cake
Ice cream of your choice
Jelly worm
Oreos
Flower

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Put a slice of sponge/madeira cake at the bottom of the pot.
Stick a straw in it and scoop out the ‘madeira circle’ made by the straw (this is for the flower to fit into).
Fill in around the straw with ice cream (I used 2 types: Honeycomb and Strawberry).
Plant a jelly worm in there somewhere as you build.
Place oreos in a plastic bag and smash with a rolling pin.
Looks just like dirt.
Cover the top of the pot with the ‘dirt’.

…Stick flower in the straw.

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Good fun had by all. Tastes great too!

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…By the way, the “Oreos dirt” looks so real I had one of these pots in the centre of the table all through dinner and nobody noticed anything odd about it.

Afterwards I said “who wants to see a trick?”, before stuffing my face with dirt. Even then, it took many spoonfuls before they realised it wasn’t dirt.

The ice cream was lovely and soft (I took the 4 pots out of the freezer just before we ate).

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THING

Simple Solutions #3: How to Fix Public Healthcare

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In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.

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Like many public healthcare agencies worldwide, Ireland has a crumbling healthcare system. Waiting lists to even be seen by a specialist through the public system are unacceptably long, let alone for anything to actually be done about the ailment.

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Many The majority of people are forced to pay for private healthcare.
“And why shouldn’t they?” I hear you cry. Well, that’s fair enough (I have private healthcare myself) but in this country there is supposed to be a public healthcare system on par with anything available privately. But that is clearly one basic lie the government refuse to admit to.

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THE PROBLEM: How could the Public Healthcare System (in Ireland or anywhere else) be given the best chance of success?

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THE SOLUTION: Make it a term of employment to everyone working in that system to forego private healthcare for themselves and their dependants.

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Obviously, this ensures that all doctors, nurses, managers, administrators, cleaners, janitors, cooks and bottle washers have a personal vested interest in ensuring the public healthcare system is as optimal as can possibly be within the allotted budget.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: There is no real reason for a government to have a perfect public healthcare system. If there was nobody would buy private healthcare and the government would have to pay for everybody, which would mean higher taxes.

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Reason #2: Vested interests. The single block to all true progress. Too many people and groups slurp the cream off the trough in Healthcare. They simply wouldn’t abide it. It’s OK to screw everybody because “everybody” doesn’t have a legitimate voice or access to the right ears. “Everybody” is an ill-defined group even if it includes everybody.

However, a single large group who make the right nods and pay the right people follow the correct channels can hold an enormous sway over, and often to the detriment of, the majority.

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The only hope it will ever be done: Dictatorship.
Or the right kind of authoritarian leader at least who has the balls to stick them out in public for a couple of years while it rights itself from the bottom-up.

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I believe something like this has been done in some part of China, with great success.

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Externals

Just watch it

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Some things are too funny not to share…

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..My favourite part is when he picks up the blue soap.

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Banks, Finance, Ireland, Simple Solution

Simple Solutions #2: The Greece Issue

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In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.

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THE PROBLEM: Greece is going bankrupt and needs money.

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THE SOLUTION: Have a holiday!

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Instead of giving/loaning Greece billions of euros, European governments should commit a certain percentage of their populations to take a holiday in Greece each year for the next X number of years.

eg. 10% of the Irish population will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
2% of Germans will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
3% of French people will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
etc.

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This brings money to the people of Greece themselves, who then spend it and it filters up the chain to banks and governments.

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EU countries can offer incentives to their own people to go to Greece, thus ensuring the numbers -eg. “Buy a holiday in Greece and we won’t charge you VAT on the purchase!” …this can also boost businesses in their home countries, by encouraging ‘local’ travel agent holiday purchases rather than internet sales so as to verify the deal.

Also, it lends confidence to the financial market as it is a verifiable income to the country of Greece for the next number of years.

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Greek people get money and goodwill. Other Europeans get a holiday in a lovely part of the world.How bad? It sure as hell beats forking out a fortune and praying it comes back some day.

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If the Greek infrastructure isn’t up to the influx of travellers well they’ll just have to build more infrastructure -and how bad will that be?

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: It’s unconventional. It doesn’t directly involve single vested interest groups (eg. “The banks”, “The government”), but instead relies on individuals throughout the EU.

It seems obvious to me that the banks and the governments are the last ones to fix these problems (on their own at least), but who the hell listens to me?

Huh?

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A Digression

From Teeth to Riverdance

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Brushing teeth is like polishing shoes. If you don’t use polish at all your shoes always look fine -a little scuffed over time, perhaps. Never “sparkly” of course. But fine.

As soon as you start using shoe polish you had best never quit because the day you do your shoes crumple up and fall apart.

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A friend of mine has never brushed his teeth. Well maybe a few times when there was a toothbrush-drive on at school. You might believe he has brown choppers and a mouthful of halitosis, but no.

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He’s 40 years old, has no fillings and I don’t recall him ever losing a tooth (I would know about these things).

A few years back he went to the dentist for a checkup. After the inspection the dentist said there was nothing for him to do in there and asked what his secret was.

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“Drink Coke and never brush your teeth!” he told him.

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I almost regret doing what I was told all those years, but I guess it’s too late for me to stop now -they’d probably fall apart.

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I lived with another friend for a few months after college. A gang of us shared an apartment in fact. Anyway, when this friend unpacked his toothbrush I held it up and laughed -it was completely splayed-out.
“We could use that to scrub the pots,” I joked.

“Yeah we could,” he said, seriously.

“And what would you use for your teeth?” I asked.

He nodded to what I held in my hand and said “that”.

He wasn’t joking.

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Still on the toothbrush front… I use ‘manual’ myself, but a couple of years agoI bought my wife an EXCELLENT present for Christmas… a Phillips Sonicare Toothbrush!

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I had spent days scouring the internet (they were hard to find OK, but someone had told me they were the ultimate toothbrush so I persisted) and finally I located one in time to be delivered before the 25th of December.

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To say it was the most disappointing present she ever received from me (including when I bought her a toilet brush+holder and a wok for our first wedding anniversary) is an understatement. She was disgusted.

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I too was devestated because I thought it was such a great gift. …The gratitude of some people!

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This toothbrush is upstairs somewhere as I type… hardly used, though slowly yellowing in the bathroom last time I noticed (I try not to). I could probably sell it cheap if anyone was interested?

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Actually, that reminds me of another toothbrush tale… The same toothbrush in fact…

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I don’t know if they sell them anymore, or if the shape has changed, but at the time the Sonicare was a fairly sizeable electric, plastic item (around 6-8″ or so in length).

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…It was on the kitchen table, amid a pile of other “clutter” one day. The brush part was not attached.

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My mother called round and we were talking in the kitchen. She picked up the (half) toothbrush, in mid-sentence, but didn’t refer to it in any way as she talked about something else. She examined it for a couple of seconds, then more or less threw it down and quickly turned away as if she had a fright.

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She only briefly lost track of what she was talking about, before continuing.

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I couldn’t very well cry out “it’s a toothbrush – not a vibrator!” She was already talking about other things. It’s probably best she didn’t switch it on though.

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…And that reminds me of another tale…

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I know someone who hid a porno dvd in a Riverdance dvd case. Nobody would ever think to look at Riverdance, right? …Then one day his mother-in-law called round and borrowed a disc while he wasn’t there… yes you guessed it -she was in a mood for some sweaty thrusts and dexterous writhing that night, culminating in a heavy banging climax.

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To those of you sniggering that it was me -of course it wasn’t. What would I be doing with a Riverdance DVD!?

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