All posts by StanleyRumm

What to do with CDs?

In this digital age, many people have long since ripped any CDs they have onto their computer/ portable player, then buried their music pile behind the couch or in the attic.

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Vinyl albums are making a comeback as people once again appreciate the emotional response that comes from holding a large interactive, holdable, foldable, readable, viewable work of Art (never mind the more controversial matter of what sounds better).

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Vinyl album sleeves and cases are can be beautiful. These have always had a value separate to the quality of the music that lies within.

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Unfortunately, CDs never had this. In the quest for slimline, stark, neat and efficient reduction, much was lost. Sleeve artwork on the whole became a necessary byproduct, a utilitarian descriptor rather than a thing of beauty in and of itself.

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As a result, CDs and CD cases are small, characterless and unloved.

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As a result, these CDs are now mostly hidden -out of sight- behind the couch or clogging up the attic.

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But I’ve found a nice use for them (well, for those nicer sleeves at least):

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Lightshades:

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It’s just some LED Christmas lighting wrapped in circles and stuck onto a plastic front that holds some CDS. I designed them and asked Tom Deevy at T&T Shopfitters (Cork) to make the ‘racks’.

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I can’t claim credit for the bits in-between though.

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Depending on mood or the latest colour scheme on the wall (ya right), the CDs can be swapped out and replaced. Or even taken out and played if such a drastic notion occurred to you.


Superman’s Underpants and the movie “Inception”

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See this?

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IMG_3800

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Now, sorry for showing you my bathroom wall, but there’s more to it.

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It’s not easy to explain, but once this photo is put in the frame and placed in that location, behind that piece of string, it then takes on a whole new depth that you can’t see in this photo.

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When Mrs. Rumm saw it she shrugged and sighed and smiled and walked away. Nothing new there then.

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As my (then) 8 year old daughter immediately explained when she first saw it “the first picture is outside!

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Precisely!

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…When we look at this picture in this place we are standing in the outside layer of the image. It’s quite beautiful. πŸ™‚

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Anyway, I posted that pic to illustrate my other point, which is to do with the movie INCEPTION, directed by Christopher Nolan. If you haven’t seen it, look away now because what I’m about to discuss could be seen as a possible spoiler in a way…

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Continue reading Superman’s Underpants and the movie “Inception”

3D or Not 3D?

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Confession: I saw Jaws 3D five times in the cinema. I was a young teenager and, like, IT WAS 3D!!

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There were other 3D movies at the time, such as Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone with Peter Strauss that I saw multiple times because HEY! IT’S 1D BETTER THAN 2D!!!

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Then I grew up.

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If I was a young teen today I’d probably bet wetting myself (and hiding the evidence down the back of the bed) with the selection of 3D movies out and coming soon. Some of them, such as Toy Story 3, aren’t even dependent solely on the 3D effects.

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It’s a glorious time to be 13 and a consumer of movies!

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The problem for me is I’m no longer 13. I don’t care if the flat screen in front of me is displaying layered images as a story is unfolding. The whole effect reminds me of nothing “real”, but most closely resembles parralax scrolling, hailed as awesome as far back as the videogame Moon Patrol in 1982, and now in use most notably in Flash animations across an internet near you (unless you’re an adherant to the religion of Apple).

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It was exhilerating to watch how smoothly a game like Turrican ran on the Commodore Amiga while it presented a background moving on several planes, depending on how far away they were supposed to be. Like WOW!

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Now I don’t care. Now I’m interested only in what’s in the box. Not the box itself.

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But that’s just tough on me because teens are the movie-going demographic du jour. Since I am outside that demographic, the movie studios are not targetting me nor do they care what I think of it.

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For the record though, I thought it important to state my opinion: 3D is a load of crap. …at least 3D in its current (and previous) form, with required glasses , is a load of crap.

It adds nothing but a dark plastic layer between the viewer and the movie. It’s like visiting someone in prison and having to talk with them through a wall of glass. If that wall wasn’t there, even if we were still not allowed to touch or move nearer, wouldn’t we be that much closer?

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It seems every electronics manufacturer in the world has staked its family silver on the mass-adoption of 3D technology. Whether we like it or not, it is coming because “they” have decided.

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Allow me to make a prediction: There is a guaranteed new market crash in our future and 3D technology will play a big part in it. Nobody in anything like big numbers is going to pay cold hard cash to replace their “2D” television so they can have the privilege of watching Coronation Street or Desperate Housewives in 3D. And even if they did, they would soon get fed up with finding and cleaning and replacing their 3D glasses.

It’s just silly to believe it could be any other way.

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Yet, every large multinational conglomerate, from SONY to Samsung, from Nintendo to Mitsubishi (hmm, are all of these Japanese/ Asian?)… OK, from Microsoft to every Hollywood movie studio (some also owned by some of the above), appears to be putting every ounce of their weight behind this technology.

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So what happens when that techology collapses (as it will, inevitably, because as I said: It’s crap)?

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Cupid’s Aim

It started at the bottom of the garden. Our four year old (at the time), our sweet little boy would casually drop his pants and piss into a bush whilst on his travels.

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We laughed. We explained that he can’t do that everywhere and that it’s not a great idea to be doing it in the garden either.

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For a while he had his own little spot. We didn’t allow him do it, but it was kind of cute so we weren’t exactly angry at him (still not of course). We’d call his name mid stream, his stream would wiggle and stop, then he’d pull up his pants and run away without looking.

He’s now five and still at it, although in fairness most of the time he does it right. I guess he just likes to try out new places.

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Last week, he informed Mrs. Rumm he was off to the bathroom. She watched as he left the room, then followed at a discreet distance, noting the mischievious tone in his voice…

The bathroom door is next to the backdoor of the house. Instead of turning right to go into the bathroom, he turned left, stood on the step at the back door and pissed to the outside air.

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Yesterday, he came in from outside and went upstairs. I was downstairs and shouted up to him to go wash his hands.

“I will,” he called back nonchalantly.

It’s not that I don’t trust him, but I know when he answers for the sake of answering even though he hasn’t heard a word I just said.

So I went up a couple of steps and was able to peek through the bannister into the upstairs toilet.

Young Master Rumm had walked to the side of the sink and was now climbing onto the bath. Now he reached across and put his knees onto the wooden frame around the sink. Now he dropped his pants and like a little Cupid fountain, kneeling, began to piss into the sink as though it’s the most natural thing in the world.

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Conscious of the mid-stream splaying wiggle he has whenever confronted in the garden, I said his name softly. As if nothing had happened, he came to a halt, pulled up his trousers, climbed down, then continued his stream at the toilet bowl.

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Whatchagonnadowiththat?

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Simple Solutions #7: 12th of July Parades

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Peace and Brotherly Love are the by-words that certain correspondents would have us believe most effectively sum up relations and mood between the peoples of Northern Ireland.

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But under the surface (and even clearly on the surface at times) old hatreds and prejudices boil and bubble, resulting in an annual eruption of violence you could set your watch by. Old Faithful is alive and well and gushing through the streets of Northern Ireland every 12th of July.

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THE PROBLEM: ‘Orangemen’ see it as their right to hold parades along routes they have always marched each 12th of July. Unfortunately, certain areas on certain routes do not want these marches. People in these areas see them as an imperialist and triumphalist finger to the wishes of the majority (in those areas).

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Every year this results in a stand-off between both peoples, usually with the police in the middle (literally) keeping them apart.

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THE SOLUTION: Allow the orangemen down the road (each contentious road I mean), one person at a time.

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These roads are lined with police and army vehicles that keep the ‘locals’ from attacking marchers as the almost-inevitable parade progresses. Orangemen are usually told not to play their instruments during these times.

These men wish to “walk down the queen’s highway” as they put it and frankly they have a point.

Catholics/locals in these certain areas do not wish a horde of “ignorant loyalists” to trample through their patch, and frankly they have a point too (even though the idea of catholic and protestant ‘patches’ itself is ridiculous, however that’s how it is).

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So anyway, after a flurry of protest & violence, usually the orangemen eventually march, amid a flurry of protest & violence on the other side of the barricade.

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Imagine now the scene if orangemen were allowed march one-at-a-time. Such a ‘march’ could no longer be interpreted as a triumphalist cock-a-snoot to the locals, but instead would be laughed-off (loudly) from behind the barriers. The glass bottles and angry threats would be replaced by jeers and mocking laughter. (OK, ideally this should not occur either of course, but I’m trying to be real here).

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The result is the orangemen have their march, but it could not be interpreted by ‘locals’ as an annual triumphalist invasion of the area.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: The underlying problem is the traditional communities themselves, divided along sectarian lines. It’s understandable why people huddled together in these ways during the troubles, forced to rely on each other in times of need. Now these huddles (in certain areas) are themselves as problematic as a mass of marchers. They will likely take a couple of generations to disperse naturally, as people find they no longer need to live and define themselves along strictly religious lines.

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Simple Solutions #6: How to End a Soccer Stalemate

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Penalties are great for tension, but few people believe they are a fair way to settle the score between two seemingly-inseperable sides in a soccer match.

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THE PROBLEM: How to end a ‘stalemate’ game of soccer after a half hour of extra time has been played in a manner that is fairer and uses more all-round “soccer skills” than penalty shoot-outs.

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THE SOLUTION #1: After extra time, move the goal-posts five yards closer together (including the pitch lines of course) on either end. Every 5-10 minutes thereafter, move each goal another 5 yards closer until a goal is scored.

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THE SOLUTION #2: If that doesn’t grab ya, expand the goal-size every 5-10 minutes until a ball gets in.

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Both these solutions have an advantage over penalties, in that they utilise all the skills of a team rather than relying solely on the ability of a single player from one side and the goalie from the other.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: Football/ Soccer never changes unless its dragged kicking and screaming to change. It’s also full of unimaginative, over-serious ball-fiddlers who wouldn’t know a good idea if it hit them on the head.

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Plus, I don’t know about you, but I rather like penalty-shootouts. Still, many people moan and groan about how unfair they are, so I’m just putting these out there for the record.

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Abraham Meadows -John Poland

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We “completed” this song some time ago, but only recently made the video. Possible contender for our forthcoming album?

Personally, I always found it a bit too “word heavy”, but it has definitely grown on me and have received quite a bit of positive feedback. (thanks)

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As usual, music and vocals by John Poland, lyrics by Stanley Rumm.

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Your Country My Call

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I read and re-read the email sent to me by the organisers of the Your Country Your Call competition, trying to figure out what it was saying. Maybe I was too excited to concentrate on the multiple paragraphs.

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It read like a kiss-off/ thanks-and-tough-luck email, but I couldn’t find where it was actually stating that.

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…Then I spotted it on my third-time round. Why these people don’t put “Dear Sir/Madam, You didn’t make it” as their first line instead of burying it in side-mouthed form-letter compliments I’ll never ever know. πŸ™

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(It reminds me of people in a cinema opening a packet of popcorn slowly instead of quickly out of misplaced, pathetic sympathy.)

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The list of semi-finalists is posted here and mine isnt’ on there. Aww. πŸ™

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Best of luck to the winner I say, but at a glance at least, it looks to me like the same old “corporate vested interest” notions that crop up time and again rather than a proper decent, simple, original thought.
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“Ireland should be a hub for online gaming” …Now why didn’t I think of that??
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“Green Ireland – a new brand for developing Irish Food and Tourism” …wow this is cutting-edge this is!

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“YEATS INSTITUTE OF LANGUAGE AND CULTURE” -well we must make it look like we at least give a damn about these things I suppose.
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Shoulda known. πŸ™

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Now, I realise good ideas can sometimes come across as ridiculous or ill-considered when given a quick description, so there’s a possibility some or all of the above aren’t as stoopid and uninventive as they look.

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With that in mind, I’m not going to divulge my grand idea in a 1-line descriptor, but if anyone is interested you can read my proposal in full here.

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Unknown Knowns

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“There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know. So when we do the best we can and we pull all this information together, and we then say well that’s basically what we see as the situation, that is really only the known knowns and the known unknowns. And each year, we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns.” -Donald Rumsfeld, 2002.

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I believe Rummy missed one: The unknown knowns.
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In fact, I believe most popular movies/ books/ anything else misses this too. It is a highly underrated knowledge.
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The unknown knowns are those things you know, but aren’t aware you know. They could be things you take for granted or something right under your nose that you never knew you knew about -for example you might “know” something to be true, but never actually think about it (and so not know you know) until perhaps someone else mentions it.

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“She’s pregnant!” …only after you hear it do you realise that you somehow “knew” all along.
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Similarly, the best comedy is often to be had from these unknown knowns -everyday life events we already know about, but weren’t aware we knew or did. When they are held up in front of our eyes, perhaps through a skewed lens, we have to laugh because we recognise what we already knew, but somehow didn’t know we knew.

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Why do I say this is missed by most books and movies nowadays?

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Well, in my opinion the best “works of art” are almost indescribable, yet speak sometimes in a personal nature directly to the reader/ viewer. It’s not something that can be described in the blurb in the back of the book, so it’s not easily marketable, so it’s unappreciated.
Or under-appreciated at least.

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Maybe the book/ movie hasn’t even broached a topic, but yet puts a certain thought in your head or leaves you with a mood that is familiar and yet new. These are the greatest.

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I’ve often turned the last page of a book I really enjoyed and half an hour later could barely remember any of it. To me, that makes the book almost a complete waste of time.

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On the other hand, the best books can often be harder to get into -they need some work by us readers, to place ourselves in the right frame of mind to appreciate “the full show”. But as the last page is turned, we are left floating for a long time afterward. Maybe with much to think about or just to appreciate the mood.

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The unknown knowns can also lead one to that “ah yes of course!” moment, as when you suddenly realise “AAHHH So *THIS* is where it’s all going! -I didn’t know that, but now that I know I know it, I knew it all along!”


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The unknown knowns are the best of all knowns and unknowns because they take the least effort with the greatest reward (or at least the groundwork has already been done, maybe subconsciously).

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NOW… The next time you find a forgotten tenner in your back-pocket you will hold it aloft and declare with joy: “The unknown known!”Β  πŸ™‚

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Jim Emerson has a good discussion on Rumsfeld’s points here.

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Simple Solutions #5: BP Oil Pipe Leak Fix

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THE PROBLEM: A BP oil pipe is spewing oil now for how long? Months? Why can’t it be stopped?

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THE SOLUTION: Shove a cork in it.

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No really. I know it’s a mile underwater, but if they can send an unmanned rocket to Mars and get the coordinates right to such an amazing degree I dare say someone could do the equivalent of sticking a cork on the end of a hanger and shoving it through an open bottle at the bottom of a well.

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It may take a few efforts. Oil is gushing out after all. But the ‘cork’ could be more like a needle/ syringe, so once the pointy bit gets in there, the rest could be pushed from one end and dragged from the other.

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Like this:

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The “cork” can have a camera on the end of it for guidance.

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Better yet, why not have an unmanned sub type device that dives into the hole, plugging it?

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Failing that, how about a fat kamikaze underwater pilot?

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Obviously that last one might not be the best option, but I fail to see what’s so far fetched about the others. I mean, are they even trying??

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