With head bowed in heartfelt sorrow I can at last come clean about something:
Before today I hadn’t been to a dentist for over 10 years!
I know this to be true because we moved into our current home eight years ago. It was around two years before then that I visited the dentist. After the move, my ‘regular’ dentist was now around fifteen miles from my house -through heavy traffic most of the time. My teeth felt fine.
So I put off the visit. I know I could’ve gone elsewhere, but …y’know…
Anyway, after a couple of years I heard on the radio that my dentist was killed in a car crash (in South Africa). That was a shock -not least for him. He was a nice man.
Passing on from that inter-continental bout of morbidity, last year my root canal unfilled/ emptied/ flew-the-coop, but it didn’t hurt so I didn’t get around to having it seen to. Then the other day the wall of the same tooth chipped so I thought it best I make that appointment (even though it still wasn’t hurting since the tooth was dead anyway, so I didn’t quite wait until it was too late -so don’t be too harsh on me, ok!).
I was due to go Friday, but I awoke that morning around 5am with a dose of the trots. Probably more information than you would have wanted, but there you go. I’m a giving kinda guy. 🙂
Mrs. Rumm made my excuses and re-scheduled for Monday morning. By Saturday morning I was still galloping. No real clue as to why, but possibly chicken-related. It was my own concoction and it did taste nice, but I remembered finding one quite-pink part as I tucked-in. I didn’t eat that part but possibly there was more. Not sure if that was it or not, but since I’ve already been through the bottom of it I’m not that curious to delve any deeper.
So I took a couple of Arrets on Saturday and tucked into the hearty breakfast I was desperately looking forward to for over 36 hours of bowel excercise. The dam held you’ll be happy to hear and I was ready for my appointment this morning.
The receptionist welcomed me and told me take a seat. She didn’t ask me to fill out forms, which I thought strange because I had never been there before. I was also slightly disappointed because I had been quietly grinning to myself at my plan to write “astronaut” as my occupation -just to see if she’d contest it. I was prepared to shoot her a practised look of hurt shock as I’d cry “You don’t think I look like an astronaut!?”
But as with most plans, this one went awry. For shame.
(I later discovered they pulled someone else’s file with the same name and assumed it was me. He hadn’t been back since 2001. For a brief moment I wondered if there was perhaps some traumatic abscess in my past I wasn’t telling myself about, but it appears not. Phew!)
Anyway, I did get to perform the 2nd part of my plan -I strode in and stood before Big D and told him “It has been 10 years since my last confession!” That broke the ice for both of us. I could tell he was as relieved as I was. At least that’s what I’d like to think his frozen grin and shaking head was telling me.
He asked if there was anything in particular I was fearful of. I told him the bill. After that we got on alright. He said my teeth were in very good shape and I only needed one more filling! Woo and indeed hoo.
And the moral of this story is… Save hundreds by risking thousands! …It just could pay off if you’re as lucky as me! 🙂
