Simple Solutions #4: Internet Access For All

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In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.

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Most people pay for always-on internet access at home, but when “on the go” it is not always easy to access the internet without incurring silly charges. OK, you can buy more internet access as part of your mobile phone package deal, but chances are even that is silly money -and anyway, you only want to check your emails/ have a quick browse to check the price on a TV online before you purchase locally (or not).

Why should you pay more than once for “always on” internet access?

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THE PROBLEM: Mobile internet access is too expensive, but if I want it “on the go” -even in short bursts- I gotta pay even though I already pay for home broadband.

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THE SOLUTION: Allow outside access to your wi-fi.

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OK, like yourself (if you have a passing knowledge of such things), I see obvious reasons not to do such a thing: security and bandwidth. Let’s deal with these individually:

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1. Security.

“Someone might pass by my window, detect my wi-fi, log on and compromise my entire network -delete files and take my identity!”

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Worst case scenario, this is true -a valid fear.

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However, there are ways and means to allow people to access the internet without allowing access to your internal network -it’s just nobody (that I know of) has built such an option into router firmware because …well… “who would want freeloading strangers hogging their bandwidth?”

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2. Bandwidth.

Many ISPs have a bandwidth cap. Others do not. Most people use a tiny percentage of their bandwidth potential. If the water is running freely anyway isn’t it a little selfish to not allow a thirsty passerby take a drink?

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Again, there are ways and means to monitor bandwidth usage and to disconnect greedy freeloaders. This could all be automated so it’s not like you’d even have to know -again you just need the right firmware for your router …firmware that hasn’t been written yet, possibly.

This firmware could allow a certain bandwidth ‘leakage’ per day and for any single user to use, say no more than 1% of that leakage.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: …Actually I think this one would/ will be adopted once people get their heads around it and router firmware developers start building in these options.

(Alright, I freely admit there may be just such a massive movement already in operation -I haven’t done any homework on it, but I’m just saying it would be a ‘neat idea’… Also I freely admit to having no technical knowledge of such matters… it’s possible two routers would be required for security -even still, some of us would do it I’m sure -enough to set the trend!)

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So why open your wi-fi?

Stick it to the man. You don’t like double-paying. You already pay for more than you use anyway. Why pay “the man” just because you want it in another format too? It’s like buying a CD and having to pay again for an MP3.

Make what you don’t use available to others and they might do likewise. Soon everyone can access their emails/ do a quick browse/ Tweet/ etc. everywhere -including you.

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Even if it’s a long time before you find others doing it, I know all of us dream of being Robin Hood -that’s why it’s such an everlasting story. Now you too can be Robin Hood without even leaving your home!

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So, maybe you can’t do it right now, but if enough people have a wish to do something like this, then someone somewhere will make it happen (I know Google intend to make such a thing a reality anyway, so all of this could be unnecessary in time -that would make me very happy believe me).

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Flower Pot Dessert

OK, it wasn’t my idea. I saw it on another website ages ago and was planning on doing it ever since. I should really link to there, but I’ve searched and haven’t found the exact one (there are other similar ones though)

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Anyway, what is this all about I hear you cry…

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Flower Pot Dessert!

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Ingredients

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1 x pot
1 x straw
Sponge/ madeira cake
Ice cream of your choice
Jelly worm
Oreos
Flower

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Put a slice of sponge/madeira cake at the bottom of the pot.
Stick a straw in it and scoop out the ‘madeira circle’ made by the straw (this is for the flower to fit into).
Fill in around the straw with ice cream (I used 2 types: Honeycomb and Strawberry).
Plant a jelly worm in there somewhere as you build.
Place oreos in a plastic bag and smash with a rolling pin.
Looks just like dirt.
Cover the top of the pot with the ‘dirt’.

…Stick flower in the straw.

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Good fun had by all. Tastes great too!

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…By the way, the “Oreos dirt” looks so real I had one of these pots in the centre of the table all through dinner and nobody noticed anything odd about it.

Afterwards I said “who wants to see a trick?”, before stuffing my face with dirt. Even then, it took many spoonfuls before they realised it wasn’t dirt.

The ice cream was lovely and soft (I took the 4 pots out of the freezer just before we ate).

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Simple Solutions #3: How to Fix Public Healthcare

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In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.

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Like many public healthcare agencies worldwide, Ireland has a crumbling healthcare system. Waiting lists to even be seen by a specialist through the public system are unacceptably long, let alone for anything to actually be done about the ailment.

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Many The majority of people are forced to pay for private healthcare.
“And why shouldn’t they?” I hear you cry. Well, that’s fair enough (I have private healthcare myself) but in this country there is supposed to be a public healthcare system on par with anything available privately. But that is clearly one basic lie the government refuse to admit to.

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THE PROBLEM: How could the Public Healthcare System (in Ireland or anywhere else) be given the best chance of success?

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THE SOLUTION: Make it a term of employment to everyone working in that system to forego private healthcare for themselves and their dependants.

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Obviously, this ensures that all doctors, nurses, managers, administrators, cleaners, janitors, cooks and bottle washers have a personal vested interest in ensuring the public healthcare system is as optimal as can possibly be within the allotted budget.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: There is no real reason for a government to have a perfect public healthcare system. If there was nobody would buy private healthcare and the government would have to pay for everybody, which would mean higher taxes.

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Reason #2: Vested interests. The single block to all true progress. Too many people and groups slurp the cream off the trough in Healthcare. They simply wouldn’t abide it. It’s OK to screw everybody because “everybody” doesn’t have a legitimate voice or access to the right ears. “Everybody” is an ill-defined group even if it includes everybody.

However, a single large group who make the right nods and pay the right people follow the correct channels can hold an enormous sway over, and often to the detriment of, the majority.

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The only hope it will ever be done: Dictatorship.
Or the right kind of authoritarian leader at least who has the balls to stick them out in public for a couple of years while it rights itself from the bottom-up.

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I believe something like this has been done in some part of China, with great success.

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Just watch it

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Some things are too funny not to share…

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..My favourite part is when he picks up the blue soap.

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Simple Solutions #2: The Greece Issue

In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.

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THE PROBLEM: Greece is going bankrupt and needs money.

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THE SOLUTION: Have a holiday!

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Instead of giving/loaning Greece billions of euros, European governments should commit a certain percentage of their populations to take a holiday in Greece each year for the next X number of years.

eg. 10% of the Irish population will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
2% of Germans will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
3% of French people will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
etc.

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This brings money to the people of Greece themselves, who then spend it and it filters up the chain to banks and governments.

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EU countries can offer incentives to their own people to go to Greece, thus ensuring the numbers -eg. “Buy a holiday in Greece and we won’t charge you VAT on the purchase!” …this can also boost businesses in their home countries, by encouraging ‘local’ travel agent holiday purchases rather than internet sales so as to verify the deal.

Also, it lends confidence to the financial market as it is a verifiable income to the country of Greece for the next number of years.

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Greek people get money and goodwill. Other Europeans get a holiday in a lovely part of the world.How bad? It sure as hell beats forking out a fortune and praying it comes back some day.

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If the Greek infrastructure isn’t up to the influx of travellers well they’ll just have to build more infrastructure -and how bad will that be?

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: It’s unconventional. It doesn’t directly involve single vested interest groups (eg. “The banks”, “The government”), but instead relies on individuals throughout the EU.

It seems obvious to me that the banks and the governments are the last ones to fix these problems (on their own at least), but who the hell listens to me?

Huh?

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From Teeth to Riverdance

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Brushing teeth is like polishing shoes. If you don’t use polish at all your shoes always look fine -a little scuffed over time, perhaps. Never “sparkly” of course. But fine.

As soon as you start using shoe polish you had best never quit because the day you do your shoes crumple up and fall apart.

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A friend of mine has never brushed his teeth. Well maybe a few times when there was a toothbrush-drive on at school. You might believe he has brown choppers and a mouthful of halitosis, but no.

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He’s 40 years old, has no fillings and I don’t recall him ever losing a tooth (I would know about these things).

A few years back he went to the dentist for a checkup. After the inspection the dentist said there was nothing for him to do in there and asked what his secret was.

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“Drink Coke and never brush your teeth!” he told him.

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I almost regret doing what I was told all those years, but I guess it’s too late for me to stop now -they’d probably fall apart.

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I lived with another friend for a few months after college. A gang of us shared an apartment in fact. Anyway, when this friend unpacked his toothbrush I held it up and laughed -it was completely splayed-out.
“We could use that to scrub the pots,” I joked.

“Yeah we could,” he said, seriously.

“And what would you use for your teeth?” I asked.

He nodded to what I held in my hand and said “that”.

He wasn’t joking.

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Still on the toothbrush front… I use ‘manual’ myself, but a couple of years agoI bought my wife an EXCELLENT present for Christmas… a Phillips Sonicare Toothbrush!

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I had spent days scouring the internet (they were hard to find OK, but someone had told me they were the ultimate toothbrush so I persisted) and finally I located one in time to be delivered before the 25th of December.

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To say it was the most disappointing present she ever received from me (including when I bought her a toilet brush+holder and a wok for our first wedding anniversary) is an understatement. She was disgusted.

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I too was devestated because I thought it was such a great gift. …The gratitude of some people!

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This toothbrush is upstairs somewhere as I type… hardly used, though slowly yellowing in the bathroom last time I noticed (I try not to). I could probably sell it cheap if anyone was interested?

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Actually, that reminds me of another toothbrush tale… The same toothbrush in fact…

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I don’t know if they sell them anymore, or if the shape has changed, but at the time the Sonicare was a fairly sizeable electric, plastic item (around 6-8″ or so in length).

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…It was on the kitchen table, amid a pile of other “clutter” one day. The brush part was not attached.

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My mother called round and we were talking in the kitchen. She picked up the (half) toothbrush, in mid-sentence, but didn’t refer to it in any way as she talked about something else. She examined it for a couple of seconds, then more or less threw it down and quickly turned away as if she had a fright.

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She only briefly lost track of what she was talking about, before continuing.

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I couldn’t very well cry out “it’s a toothbrush – not a vibrator!” She was already talking about other things. It’s probably best she didn’t switch it on though.

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…And that reminds me of another tale…

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I know someone who hid a porno dvd in a Riverdance dvd case. Nobody would ever think to look at Riverdance, right? …Then one day his mother-in-law called round and borrowed a disc while he wasn’t there… yes you guessed it -she was in a mood for some sweaty thrusts and dexterous writhing that night, culminating in a heavy banging climax.

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To those of you sniggering that it was me -of course it wasn’t. What would I be doing with a Riverdance DVD!?

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Your Country Your Call

I’ve just entered the Your Country Your Call competition. It seems like a genuine attempt to collect mold-breaking do-able ideas to help lift Ireland out of the doldrums it (not to mention everywhere else) finds itself. So I thought I’d give it a bash. Who knows, one of these days someone might listen to me.

I’m not sure what I should say about my idea at this stage, but the proposal is listed here. I’m quite positive about it’s chance of success actually, but I’ve resolved to put the whole thing out of my head for now until finalists are announced -in September or so I think.

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Here’s the ‘blurb’ for my submission if you don’t want to click the link.

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Ireland -A New Way (Sli Nua)

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The title might appear to imply some sort of idealised political movement, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is a new way for the people of Ireland (and the world at large) to look at Ireland and see it as it has never been seen before.

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It’s radical, yet very simple. It requires a little effort from people throughout the country, but will soon transform every area -for the better.

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It’s economically practical. It creates jobs and skills throughout the country (not just in certain areas), increases tourism everywhere, vastly improves the physical and mental health of the people, makes the country a safer environment, is Environmentally-friendly, brings communities and its people closer together (in non-political, uplifting and positive ways), teaches skills to those who want them -and also brings a boost to local businesses the length and breadth of the country.

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It also brings some comforts of city-living to people of the countryside and gives city dwellers a greater taste of country living.

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This proposal benefits everyone in practical, realistic and non-cynical ways. No vested interest wins over other sectors.

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