Category Archives: Banks
Simple Solution #8: Irish Dáil Reform
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THE PROBLEM: The Irish house of Parliament (the Dáil) is in a mess. There’s a massive job ahead to be done, but time and again politicians are voted into power based on their ability to bring investment or at least a little positive attention to their local area, rather than having an ability to face or tackle the national problems of the country.
“He may not be able to renegotiate a deal with Brussels, but he’ll make sure the road outside my house looks alright.”
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THE SOLUTION: Nobody should be allowed vote for their own ministers.
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ie. ..People in Cork should be given a choice of Carlow candidates, people in Donegal should vote to put in Waterford ministers, Galway people should be given a choice of Louth political wannabes, etc..
Existing political approaches and constructs such as “clinics” should be allowed continue as before, but not in the voting areas -rather in the area in which the politician has been elected to represent. (eg. a Louth TD should live in Louth and not be allowed have a clinic in Galway.)
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This ensures that
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a) Nobody can think only of himself/herself when voting for a candidate since the person who gets in will not be responsible for “the road outside my house”.
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b) Everyone will consider the national interest when voting.
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c) Candidates will run with a national-interest mindset and agenda.
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What’s good for the country will ultimately trickle down to local rights, rules and regulations.
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OF COURSE THIS WON’T BE ADOPTED BECAUSE: Irish people have voted for the same political party since ever. Even now they are set to vote back in their local Fianna Fáil (or any other “established” party candidate) because “he’s not one of them fellas who made the mess -an’ didn’t he turn up to Johnny’s funeral last November on a rainy day!”
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“Political Reform” to any of these people means a token reduction in expenses and perhaps removing automatic rights for some TDs to a state car & driver.
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Same ole wankers will get back in, even if some of them have different faces. Same ole crap will be the result. Nothing will change except the people of Ireland slouch their shoulders and prepare for a hundred years of hardship.
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This Little Piggy Went to the Market
Paul Krugman at the New York Times reflects on a comment by “ObsessiveMathsFreak” on irisheconomy.ie. Finally I can see sense in the markets. Thanks ObsessiveMathsFreak!
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The markets want money for cocaine and prostitutes. I am deadly serious.
Most people don’t realize that “the markets” are in reality 22-27 year old business school graduates, furiously concocting chaotic trading strategies on excel sheets and reporting to bosses perhaps 5 years senior to them. In addition, they generally possess the mentality and probably intelligence of junior cycle secondary school students. Without knowladge of these basic facts, nothing about the markets makes any sense—and with knowladge, everything does.
What the markets, bond and speculators, etc, want right now is for Ireland to give them a feel good feeling, nothing more. A single sharp, sweeping budget would do that; a four year budget plan will not. Remember that most of these guys won’t actually still be trading in four years. They’ll either have retired or will have been promoted to a position where they don’t care about Ireland anymore. Anyone that does will be a major speculator looking to short the country for massive profit.
In lieu of a proper budget, what the country can do—and what will work—is bribe senior ratings agencies owners and officials to give the country a better rating. Even a few millions spent on bumping up Ireland’s rating would save millions and possibly save the country.
Bread and circuses for the masses; cocaine and prostitutes for the markets. This can be looked on as unethical obviously, but since the entire system is unethical, unprincipled and chaotic anyway, why not just exploit that fact to do some good for the nation instead of bankrupting it in an effort to buy new BMWs for unmarried 25 year olds.
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You go ObsessiveMathsFreak!
Fear Makes You Dumb
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Simple Solutions #2: The Greece Issue
In this series I posit some unconventional/ will-never-be-tried solutions to problems of our times.
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THE PROBLEM: Greece is going bankrupt and needs money.
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THE SOLUTION: Have a holiday!
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Instead of giving/loaning Greece billions of euros, European governments should commit a certain percentage of their populations to take a holiday in Greece each year for the next X number of years.
eg. 10% of the Irish population will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
2% of Germans will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
3% of French people will holiday in Greece over the next 3 years.
etc.
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This brings money to the people of Greece themselves, who then spend it and it filters up the chain to banks and governments.
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EU countries can offer incentives to their own people to go to Greece, thus ensuring the numbers -eg. “Buy a holiday in Greece and we won’t charge you VAT on the purchase!” …this can also boost businesses in their home countries, by encouraging ‘local’ travel agent holiday purchases rather than internet sales so as to verify the deal.
Also, it lends confidence to the financial market as it is a verifiable income to the country of Greece for the next number of years.
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Greek people get money and goodwill. Other Europeans get a holiday in a lovely part of the world.How bad? It sure as hell beats forking out a fortune and praying it comes back some day.
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If the Greek infrastructure isn’t up to the influx of travellers well they’ll just have to build more infrastructure -and how bad will that be?
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Of course this won’t be adopted because: It’s unconventional. It doesn’t directly involve single vested interest groups (eg. “The banks”, “The government”), but instead relies on individuals throughout the EU.
It seems obvious to me that the banks and the governments are the last ones to fix these problems (on their own at least), but who the hell listens to me?
Huh?
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How much is a billion?
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1 billion = 1,000,000,000 = 1,000 million (in European terms)
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1 billion seconds = 11,574.074 days = 31.79 years (start counting now)
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1 billion inches = 15,782.83 miles (roughly the distance from Dublin to New York, then back to Dublin, then back to New York, then back to Dublin, then back to New York)
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1 billion people = roughly the population of the USA x 3
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1 billion acres = roughly seven-and-a-half times the size of France
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EMERGENCY WHIP-AROUND!
I urge you to heed what I’m saying. This is serious people. The world is on the brink and we all need to row together and prop each other up where we can.
That is why I am leading a campaign for an informal whip-around for one very special person. I’m sure you have a leaky tap you were looking to replace this year or were intending to buy a steak or some lamb chops this month or maybe you felt flathulach and thought you might splash out on a new pair of shoes (?)
But before you spend those coppers in your pocket, please please please spare a thought for the chairman of the Bank of Ireland, Mr. Brian Goggin, who I just heard on the radio. He expects to earn under 2 million euros this year.
Surely we can’t let this happen to a man who took home more than 2.9 million last year. I mean, that’s a 33% paycut!!
So, if any of you are rich on redundancy or were suddenly paid part of an invoice due to you two years ago, perhaps you could mosey on over to your nearest Bank of Ireland branch (if it hasn’t been closed during the streamlined Celtic Tiger years) and put a little something in an envelope for Mr. Goggin. You can trust Bank of Ireland to know what to do with it.
Give a little now. It will help a lot.
(They’ll be back for the rest later on.)