GIANT Space Hopper? I don’t think so!

I found myself passing through Debenhams last week and came across an item that piqued my interest… an 80cm Giant Space Hopper!

“33% BIGGER” I was assured.

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So naturally, as one does, I bought it, took it home and eagerly pumped it up. Alas, my enthusiasm was short-lived when I discovered it to be something less than “giant”. A measuring tape confirmed my suspicion… 55cm!

HOW CAN THEY SELL A 80cm GIANT SPACE HOPPER THAT IS ONLY 55cm!!???

…Aha! thought I… they’ve sneakily included the height of the hopper’s horns into the measurements -but no, it turns out it still only reached 70cm to the tip of the horns, but anyway it also clearly stated on the back of the box “80cm diameter”, so that excludes the horns anyway by my reckoning.

I re-re-re-re-read the box and I re-re-re-measured the blown-up ball. There was no doubt -it was 33% less than the stated size on the box. This was an “official” science museum product in Debenhams -definitely wasn’t right.
It seems to me someone somewhere forgot to put the bigger Space Hoppers into the correct box -or maybe they made the box then somebody realised they forgot to make the packaging 33% bigger so instead of redoing it decided to ship them out with the standard space hopper, hoping nobody would return them!?

Much to my annoyance both my children found the space hopper before I had a chance to deflate & hide it. Both had great fun hopping around the house on it. Both pleaded with me not to return it.

…So what did I do? What would you do?

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I almost caved-in, but it was really annoying me so I just couldn’t keep it.
…That’s just what they wanted me to do!!

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I deflated and hid it until it was forgotten. Then (a week later) I returned it to the shop.
The nice lady in the store had the same reaction as I did and made much the same suggestions (re the horns, etc.)
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But no, there was no mistake -this was no giant space hopper! 🙁

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I informed her that ideally I would like an 80cm space hopper, but failing that I’d settle for a refund.
She handed over the cash, but spotting my despondent demeanour, she suggested I give her my name and number “just in case” anyone can do anything about it.

I left my details, but I’m not holding my breath. This whole experience has soured me against ever having the opportunity to own a giant space hopper. Even if I saw one advertised now I would only think “yeah right -as if!” before blowing a pfft in the air and walking away.

Sad really isn’t it?

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Q. WHY WOULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT/NEED A GIANT SPACE HOPPER?

A. Pilates!

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There was, in truth, a kind of method to my madness…
Since I do quite a bit of sitting, I’ve been thinking for some time that if I had a big enough ball I could sit/bounce on that at my desk and get some exercise. So when I saw that “GIANT” space hopper I believed it to be the answer to all my problems (yes I know it’s quite sad to have problems whose sum total can be sorted by a giant space hopper, but should we all hang our heads and flail our backs with thorny straps if we don’t have enough problems? -pity me if you must. I pity YOU, fool!)

Now I just don’t think I could bring myself to actually trust another space hopper.

In other news, along the same lines, I did buy a 65cm gym ball last month from Argos, but I had more trouble with that… the first one was ripped and had to be returned. While pumping up the 2nd one (after buying a pump) I realised that my “long thin nozzle” wasn’t long enough or thin enough and it wasn’t pumping.
I thought an added bonus with the space hopper would be that I could at last inflate this ball, but no -that foot-pump nozzle wasn’t long or thin enough either !!

I suspect one of those football pump nozzle thingies would do it, but where am I going to get one of those!?   AT THIS HOUR!!

Anyway, I just don’t think 65cm would do it for me. That extra 15cm would’ve made all the difference.

Life can be cruel sometimes -offering solutions and leaving them dangling just out of reach. I feel like Moses forbidden to enter the promised land.  Just think what that man might have achieved if only he had a giant space hopper!

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