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Penalties are great for tension, but few people believe they are a fair way to settle the score between two seemingly-inseperable sides in a soccer match.

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THE PROBLEM: How to end a ‘stalemate’ game of soccer after a half hour of extra time has been played in a manner that is fairer and uses more all-round “soccer skills” than penalty shoot-outs.

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THE SOLUTION #1: After extra time, move the goal-posts five yards closer together (including the pitch lines of course) on either end. Every 5-10 minutes thereafter, move each goal another 5 yards closer until a goal is scored.

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THE SOLUTION #2: If that doesn’t grab ya, expand the goal-size every 5-10 minutes until a ball gets in.

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Both these solutions have an advantage over penalties, in that they utilise all the skills of a team rather than relying solely on the ability of a single player from one side and the goalie from the other.

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Of course this won’t be adopted because: Football/ Soccer never changes unless its dragged kicking and screaming to change. It’s also full of unimaginative, over-serious ball-fiddlers who wouldn’t know a good idea if it hit them on the head.

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Plus, I don’t know about you, but I rather like penalty-shootouts. Still, many people moan and groan about how unfair they are, so I’m just putting these out there for the record.

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