I’ve been having something of a creative block recently. It’s not that I’ve been sitting at my desk banging the keyboard with my head in a bid to see if something falls out. It’s more like I’ve been doing other things and haven’t attempted much in the creative sphere. I can’t say I’ve been overly busy doing those other things, but for whatever reason I haven’t felt the urge lately to write or to think or to do other somewhat-creative things.
To me that’s a terrible thing to admit. Others would find it silly to be that way in the first place, I know, but I’ve always had a kind of need to “create”. Not being endowed with any drawing skill and not being able to play a musical instrument, this yearn has mostly manifested itself in writing form. For the past few weeks/ months(?) this yearn is not there.
I don’t know why, but it hasn’t really bothered me. And that bothers me.
It bothers me that I’m not bothered that I haven’t been creative. Most things I’ve written here (especially those in the category A Digression or books or music lyrics) have come from this need. It’s as basic to me as breathing or eating. I’ve never forced it or wondered “what should I write about?” Recently I’ve just not had that need and that’s why I haven’t posted here much or done some of the other things I might have been doing.
I wish I had the need. It’s like losing a kidney. It can’t be seen or quantified with the eye in normal day-to-day interactions, but I know it’s not there and I’d rather have it back. (Thankfully I do still have two kidneys at time of writing bythewaythankyouverymuch.)
It’s not that I think that need will never come back again, but I suppose I believe the time has come for me to give it a little kick. I hope this post somehow helps re-start the engine, which is why I felt the need to make it.
I hope you haven’t suffered through reading this only to find it’s pointless. Perhaps you can give me some pointers on what I should do?
“Get a life!” I hear you cry. Alas, we all can’t be as good and upstanding as you.